After finishing a song or demo, I usually get plastered.
It's a ritual of sorts—my way of decompressing because music is a trigger for my ADHD, bipolar disorder, and whatever else.
But I didn't get plastered this time because I'm doing "Dry January."
My decision to go dry was incidental, not because of the popular trend (I'm averse to trends).
I got really drunk on New Year's Eve.
By myself.
For no good reason.
And I felt horrible the next day, with crippling anxiety and depression.
So I decided I needed a break.
And as a sobriety project, I worked on a demo for "Until the End of Time," a song of mine that's almost two years old now.
I had two competing visions for the song—a fun, up-tempo, pop/rock, guitar-driven romp and a moody, slow, piano-based ballad.
Though both versions are attached, I'll mainly be talking about the moody ballad in this post.
Speaking of moody, in December 2023, I hired a mercurial Italian to play the piano part on "Until the End of Time."
The guy was an asshole.
But his piano part turned out pretty good.
I was originally just going to do a sparse piano-vocal take, but all my attempts at that take were unsuccessful.
"The Scientist" by Coldplay meets "All of Me" by John Legend—that was the goal.
But that goal was never realized, as is often the case for me when I record a song.
The Sad Origin Story
I could be mistaken, but I think "Until the End of Time" is mostly about my aunt and uncle, who had the most beautiful love story I've ever witnessed.
My aunt died a few months before I finished these lyrics.
Cancer is a...
But I'd like to think she and my uncle will walk together again someday, on a beach, and count to infinity.
The First Songwriting Session
While strumming my guitar one afternoon in March 2023, I came up with the pre-chorus and chorus melodies (approximately), as well as the chords. I also got a few lines out of that initial creative burst. Specifically, these three lines came to me:
- "Now you're dancing on a distant shore" (pre-chorus)
- "But I will meet you in the morning by the sea" (chorus)
- "Until the end of time" (main hook/title)
I didn't really care for the title. It's a bit of a cliché. And I think it's the only song of mine that has a cliché as a title.
But I loved the way that title line sounded. And I didn't think I could come up with anything better in its place; any replacement line would have had to have the exact same phrasing and syllable count.
"I will meet you in the morning by the sea" is a great lyric and a solid counterpart to the cliché title.
But after blurting out that chorus line, I immediately faced another problem. It would be difficult to naturally use the lyric "I will meet you in the morning by the sea" multiple times in a song. And since the line in question was a part of the chorus, and choruses always bear repeating, yeah...I had some challenges ahead.
99 Songwriting Problems
Quite a few sessions followed.
Songwriting has as much to do with problem-solving as it has to do with inspiration, lyrics, melodies, hooks, and so on.
Eventually, I came up with a pretty decent follow-up line.
The final chorus goes like this:
"But I will meet you in the morning by the sea
And we'll walk together and count to infinity
Until the end of time."
After that initial writing round, I had a lot of other blanks to fill in. There were no verses, for example.
So I wrote some verses, which don't say much and are basically just there to set up the pre-choruses and choruses. That was intentional. It's a hook-driven track. Then I added the bridge.
I love the melody—I couldn't stop singing it for weeks and weeks, and that's always a great sign.
Overall, I'm pleased with the decisions I made while writing "Until the End of Time," musically and lyrically. It has plenty of poetry, romance, drama, and even some humor, all essential tools in the songwriter's handbook.
Is It a Dream...or Psychosis?
The narrator of the song is unreliable (not unlike me, ha). He's also potentially a bit unstable. And he's an insomniac, which explains this line: "And I won't be awake for the sunrise."
I suppose those are the few areas in which my personality bled into the lyrical content. It's definitely not about me though.
This mystical trip to paradise might be real. It might be a dream. It might be a product of psychosis or a fairy tale or relating to death and the afterlife.
I'll let you, the one person reading this, decide what it's about.
The Structure
I wanted to make this slow take radio-friendly.
So I stole a trick from John Legend.
The album version of "All of Me" is like five minutes long—way too long for radio. So, for the radio edit, Legend cut out verse two.
That's what I did in this moody take of my song as well. It goes straight to the bridge after the first chorus.
And the bridge is my favorite section in the song.
The Chord Progression
It's a weird chord progression. The song is in the key of C major, but the C chord is seldom used, creating a sense of tension/wanderlust.
Chord sheet attached, just for fun.
Production & Arrangement
The aforementioned moody Italian supplied the piano part. He also supplied the faux string section. I played or programmed everything else myself using fake instrumentation (MIDIs).
The final arrangement features programmed drums, MIDI strings, synths, bass, and a few guitar tracks. I also played the little piano melody that comes in during the track's pre-choruses.
Programming instruments is always a massive time suck for me—two days on drums alone—but the end result was decent enough this time.
And of course, I realize I'm a songwriter and not a pro producer or musician.
Vocally, I used a scratch take. Singing while multitasking kills my performances. There are issues (like a slightly botched title line), but this demo communicates the song’s essence.
Target: Stephen Sanchez
I'm going to try to pitch the song to Stephen Sanchez, a young singer/songwriter who blends modern pop romanticism with vintage ’50s and ’60s musical stylings.
He has a terrific baritone voice, and I really like his sound and how he's doing something different in a marketplace that rewards conformity above all else.
This is going to be hard AF. We'll see.
I'm thinking I'll reach out to his band because they may be more accessible than members of his business team. I sent one message to his piano player via Instagram already. Nothing so far. Who knows.
If anyone wants to help out with this pitch and then gets a bite somehow, I'll make it worth your while. Sales/pitching is not my forte.
Closing Thoughts
This post was absurdly long and self-indulgent.
I wrote it for me.
Maybe the songwriting process is interesting to someone else though? Or just one person? I don’t know.
As of now, I'm 30 days sober, the second longest stretch of my adult life.
Going for 50 this time. You'll know why I'm going for 50 days if you're one of the four people who's read my book.
Alcohol has been a problem for me, especially over the past few years. It can promote creativity. For instance, the three Christmas carols I wrote in December were all written during a period of heavy boozing.
But overall, alcohol exacerbates my mental health and can turn me into a bitter, insufferable prick. It's cost me relationships, job opportunities, and more.
Time to stop using it the way I did.
So, yeah...
Cheers (minus the beers).
That's way more than enough.
Here's "Until the End of Time."